Good clean humor and jokes

[TMac]

Only 'cuz your aunt Joline didn't pour the whole bottle on your foot after you stepped on a nail in the chicken coop!

 

[TMac]

Ok, now that I remember it was Iodine. And for those who didn't grow up on a farm, that same day I got to see my Grandmother covered in blood whacking the heads off chickens for Sunday's dinner after church. Chased one of them through the cornfield for half a mile...with no head.

 

[GearHead_1]

I'm kinda detracting from this thread here but now that you mentioned stepping on nails... and it is good clean humor.

When I was about 7 years old I was rummaging through an old fallen barn like dumb kids do. I stepped on a nail, it stuck me pretty good. I jumped back on the other foot with the shingle still attached to the first foot only to step on another nail with a much larger 2X4 attached. I looked down and saw the nail coming through the top of my shoe and of course started bawling. Two feet, two nails.

My friend didn't know what to do, was scared cause I was crying and didn't know hot to help me get the nails out of my feet. I was blubbering at him, screaming to "just do it." I limped home, walking a block on the sides of my feet with one foot bleeding pretty good leaving shoe prints on the road.

Back then you just ran your kids to the emergency room and my parents did just that. Of course my Dad was letting me know all the while that I really was a dumb kid and shouldn't have been there in the first place.

To this day I remember not wanting to get that Tetanus shot. Couldn't imagine in my mind how poking me yet one more time was going to make me feel better. We'd change the bandages each day and dress the wound with mercurochrome.

The KEDS (run faster, jump higher) sneakers of course were new shoes but washed up just fine albeit with holes in them. Man, those were the days. Thanks for the memories.

 

[Autoworker]

The KEDS (run faster, jump higher) sneakers of course were new shoes but washed up just fine albeit with holes in them. Man, those were the days.

Mom usually bought myself (and my six brothers) Converse Chuck Taylors canvas tennis shoes. Wasn't long before the soles would be flappin' on them. Tore up a pair climbing on a fence one day. Here's a paragraph I pulled from an article from skooldays.com.

 

[GearHead_1]

I got the Chuck Taylors too when I was a bit older.

 

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[TMac]

"So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why?" Then I decided, why work at all, when someone will subsidize?

Apologies to the Five Man Electrical Band!

 

[Autoworker]

Haven't seen Symetry on here for awhile...Hope everything's OK. I'll post a few more funnies.

 

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[TMac]

View attachment 6975

For Christmas my daughter bought me a package of candy from "the year you were born". Besides a bunch of other things I remembered, it also contained candy cigarettes. Hadn't seen them in years.

 

[Autoworker]

For Christmas my daughter bought me a package of candy from "the year you were born". Besides a bunch of other things I remembered, it also contained candy cigarettes. Hadn't seen them in years.

We ate them all the time, about a nickel a pack. Those and bubblegum cigars. Collected pop bottles along the side of the road and traded them in for candy.

 

[Blue Beast]

Yea ate those candy cigarettes and bubble cigars. I collected pop bottles anywhere I could find them. I think we got a nickel or a dime for each bottle, can't remember. It has been a while back.

 

[TMac]

Yea ate those candy cigarettes and bubble cigars. I collected pop bottles anywhere I could find them. I think we got a nickel or a dime for each bottle, can't remember. It has been a while back.

Growing up in Michigan, it was 2 cents a bottle (glass only) when I was a kid. "Shorties" from some brands were 1 penny for some reason. In '76 they changed cans and bottles to 10 cents. Littering went down substantially!