Good clean humor and jokes

[Dale5403]

 

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[MikeHTally]

Bob was sitting on the plane in Cleveland waiting to fly to Chicago when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck…pale, hands shaking in fear.

"What's the matter, afraid of flying?" Bob asked. "No, it's not that. I've been transferred to Chicago . The people are crazy there, right? Lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor schools, and the highest crime rate in the USA .”

Bob replied, "I've lived in Chicago all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. I've worked there for 14 years and never had the slightest trouble.”

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you've lived and worked there all those years and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?”

"I'm the tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."

 

[Autoworker]

 

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[MikeHTally]

View attachment 13913

Man, ain't that the truth.

 

[TMac]

View attachment 13915

Hey, found the look alike from another sci-fi show....

Tell me they don't look alike!

 

[Autoworker]

Hey, found the look alike from another sci-fi show....
View attachment 13918
Tell me they don't look alike!

LOL, Jonathan Harris. I surprised myself by remembering his name.

 

[TMac]

'Oh, the pain! Save me, William!'...Out of the way you bubble-headed booby!