Good clean humor and jokes

[Dale5403]

 

[Dale5403]

 

[Autoworker]

 

[Dale5403]

 

[Cruising68]

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[Dale5403]

 

[SETXExpSTGuy]

 

[Dale5403]

 

[Autoworker]

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional.
In over 20 years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," said Bob and he proceeded to drop his trousers,
revealing the smallest penis the nurse had ever seen.
The length and width was identical to a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started to giggle. Feeling
very badly that she had laughed at the man's penis, she
composed herself as well as she could. "I am so sorry," she said...
"I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and
a lady, I promise that won't happen again. Now, tell me, what
seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Bob replied.

She ran out of the room.

 

[Autoworker]

 

[Dale5403]

 

[SETXExpSTGuy]

 

[Cruising68]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Dale5403]

 

[Dale5403]

A beer company was hiring a taster, Someone to taste the beers before they are taken for selling. So they placed adverts and one afternoon, my father walked into the manager's office asking to be employed.
The manager tried to figure out how he could drive him away but couldn't come up with an idea, so he decided to give him a trial. He ordered his secretary to give him a glass of wine

He took a sip and said, "It's Red wine, Varietal, three years old, grown on rift valley, matured in steel containers."
"That's correct!" The manager exclaimed, "Well give him another one let's see." So he was given.
He took a sip again and said, "It's Guinness, a combination of barley, roast malt extract, and brewers yeast brewed around Thika road in Nairobi, Kenya 2 years ago"
"Incredible!" said the manager.
Now the manager went closer to the secretary and whispered to her saying, "Go get some of your urine in a cup let's see if he will get that."
So my father was given the cup of urine. He took a sip, turned to the manager and said, "Female urine, 26 years old, 2 weeks pregnant and if I'm not given this job, Sir I will tell your wife who is responsible for the pregnancy"
both the manager and the secretary fainted

My father got the job

 

[SETXExpSTGuy]

 

[SETXExpSTGuy]

 

[Dale5403]

 

[Dale5403]

 

[TMac]

Alternate title: when the undercarriage is so rusty, you have to cut into the bed to change the fuel pump.
Followup title: Man severely burned in fire after trying to weld hole in truck bed.
Months later: Man recovering from fire swears off Bud Light.